Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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