I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize