I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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