Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
