The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
