You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm way too hungover for life right now
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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