It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Say something about gay babies.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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