yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
