Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Randomize
