PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
