Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
