Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I smell like Dick and happiness
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
