Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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