after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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