Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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