after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
