hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
