I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
