I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
