can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
