Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
