I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
