Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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