I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
