so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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