I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
