i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
