I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
