Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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