If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
