I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
