this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize