I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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