Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
