you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
