Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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