I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
