Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
