my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
