I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
