did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
