Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
