That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
