An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
