Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
