I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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