Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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