this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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