Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
