I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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