Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize