Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
