im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize