Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(855): View more from

I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?

(855): View more from

No. I am devastated

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(540): View more from Virginia

woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft

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(626): View more from California

Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.

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(207): View more from Maine

so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you

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(816): View more from Missouri

I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are

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(720): View more from Colorado

Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.

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(801): View more from Utah

If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.

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(206): View more from Washington

THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.

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