So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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