Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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