worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
