erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
