the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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